November Spawned A Monster

I cross posted this from Live Journal since I'm saucy like that. And I'm omnipotent. Get used to it, citizens.

I just realized, it's November. I'm not sure what I was expecting the day after the 31st of October, but still. November. That's like...the end of the year!

So because I'm bored and somewhat kind of heart, here are some interesting facts about November. You can pay me later. I accept food stamps and naked photos.

• According to Morrissey and his fey hair, it "spawned a monster in the shape of this child"! I wonder if Morrissey was born in November because, if so it would go a ways to explaining THIS photo of someone's dad going to the Bingo Hall Social. Aaaaargh!



• November 5th, we Brits celebrate "Guy Fawkes Night". Mr. Fawkes was some dude who, with a bunch of Catholics, tried to blow up parliament with gunpowder, back in the olden days and given the fact he had a ton of it he failed miserably and ended up executed by the Protestants.
  
  I imagine the night of the "incident" went something like this.
  
  "Are these gunpowder kegs in position? Yes? OK then. Light the thingy then on the count of 'one' run like your knackers are on fire. Which they will be if you don't pay attention to that last point! Wait... What do you mean you 'didn't bring any matches?'"
  
  Now we remember his "lack of win" by letting off fireworks, roasting marshmallows on a bonfire and setting scarecrows on fire. Don't knock it till you've tried it.



• Allegedly, it is somewhat customary for humans of the male persuasion in Melbourne, Australia to grow a big, furry mustache during the month of November. This is apparently known as "Movember" for "moustache" and "November". So if you're a fan of the Village People or the seventies, take a trip to Melbourne some nice November day.



• In Finland, November is celebrated as "Month of the Dead". That's Month. Take that Mexico. And let me tell you from the experience of one particularly blurry night in Helsinki, the Fins know how to throw a fucking celebration. Those people drink like prohibition is just over the horizon and barreling towards them. And I'm from Scotland so you know, don't go thinking the irony's lost on me here! So dude...don't go to Finland in November. As well as your balls freezing off you're liable to get iced in another way. Just saying.



• In Croatia, November is known as "studeni" which apparently means "cold one". I'm not sure if they are referencing the weather, Hilary Clinton, a stiff (Hi Finland!) or they want another hit of Karlovačko. Believe me, regarding Karlovačko? I imbibed that very Croatian beer while sitting in a square in Split once (at least I think it was square, it was spinning a lot though). For two days afterwards I thought I was the Russian prime minister. That stuff is dangerous. They say it's only twelve percent proof, but twelve percent of what, that's what I want to know...



• November is the most boring month of the year because I can find almost nothing interesting that happened during it, probably because everyone's getting either hammered or murdered. Even Wikipedia was like, "Dude, that is SO all I have, go find a life or something, please!"

So welcome to the Inebriated Month of the Dead Mustaches.