Monday, May 21, 2007

Ebay

I'm confused. How come, when browsing Ebay, the more gushing and glowing someone is in their description of an item, the more eye-meltingly heinous the item is going to be? If a dress is described as "stunning" or "absolutely beautiful" that's usually code for "this dress should not be viewed without a special government license and strong sunglasses".

And what's with the selling of "well worn women's gym socks"?

Not that I was looking...

Friday, May 4, 2007

Pay Up Lazy Bones

Drivers up here in NYC are getting bent out of shape over the proposed "congestion charge" thing they want to introduce. The big cheeses want to charge eight buckaroonies to each car entering the core of Manhattan on a week day, the idea being less traffic will cut down on pollution and congestion in a gridlocked city. It will also cut down on sidewalk rage from people like me who spend countless minutes a day giving the big middle digit to stupid drivers in cross walks, gassing away on cell phones and almost creaming pedestrians.

Naturally, people are birthing huge pink cows over this idea ('people' being drivers) and obviously, the Big Cheeses, not always being the smartest, are surprised at the resistance.

Personally, I don't get what all the fuss is about. There is ZERO need to drive a car into midtown Manhattan unless you are either a private car service, a taxi, a commercial vehicle or totally, criminally, lick your mother's underwear, insane, so get out of your heated leather seats Mr. Lazy Ass from Long Island or Connecticut and get your lard-like posterior on the subway or train or bus like normal people.

People who drive into the city when there's such a stellar public transport system, are idiots. Besides, anyone who isn't post-lobotomy knows that public transport is faster than Manhattan gridlock.

Besides your excuses don't wash. If you live in Manhattan and own a car you are exempt from this charge. If you need to drive a car for work, your company will foot the bill. If you want to drive your stupid car, regardless, you still can. It'll just cost you eight dollars for the privilege and I am quite down with that. If you can afford to drive into the city every day you can afford $8, Scrooge.

Actually, I'm sure it's mainly spoiled executives who are crying into their wine over this because they're going to have to rough it with the plebs on the train. Which is kind of ridiculous when they're the people who can afford to pay the eight freaking dollars anyway.

Thank you and goodnight.