26
The perky and sexy miss Catherinette made me do it. I didn't want to, she made me. 26 random facts about me (as if choosing 26 as the number of facts wasn't quite random enough).
- My right foot is one size smaller than my left and a whole width wider.
- I once tried to take a whiz in the woods and while squatting, fell over into a patch of stinging nettles and got nasty white bumps all over my butt.
- I am left-handed therefore much more intelligent and fabulous than you.
- I'd secretly like to own a handgun.
- I once kissed some guy with a moustache while severely intoxicated in a student union bar.
- I once sent my ex-boss an "official" letter on Photoshopped, very authentic looking letterhead, telling him he'd won an award in his field. It was a very serious letter and it asked him to call to find out when the award would be presented and the number on the letter was for a help line for people with severe adult incontinence.
- I hate Ben Stiller and fantasize about bashing his stupidly expressioned head with a frying pan.
- I hate tea.
- I have never smoked a cigarette. Not the kind you buy in a store at least...
- I have eaten cakes in Amsterdam that uh...made me feel "special".
- I loathe soccer/football.
- I once attended a garden party with my dress tucked into my underwear.
- Once, for a joke, a friend and I bought a third friend a rather frightening looking vibrator as a birthday gift (birthday friend was a boy). We were there when he opened it. Unfortunately, so were his parents. Excruciating.
- I can say the alphabet backwards super fast.
- I think Al Pacino and Robert deNiro are overrated.
- Secretly, I'd love to work for the FBI as a profiler.
- I get a lot of Kelly Clarkson's phone calls.
- My favourite fruit flavour is lime.
- I like lonely, desolate landscapes like the Scottish glens and the American desert.
- I spent months traveling in Europe with a balding, straight guy who liked to wear granny nighties to bed and who wore bras and fishnets under his clothing.
- If I won the lottery I'd start a no kill luxury animal shelter so all those abandonned, misplaced and abused animals could live in peace and comfort.
- If I could pass one law it would be making garroting irritating or cruel people, legal.
- Cake!
- My land line phone is a rotary phone with a dial. Pray you never have an emergency in my house. I call my mum in the UK once a week and half the time I have to quit half way through dialing the number because I fall asleep.
- I don't get why anyone thinks Orlando Bloom is hot.
- I have a birth mark on my bum that feels like a third nipple. (it isn't)
