Small Wonders
Why are people getting bigger whereas gadgets are getting smaller? Is there some direct ratio conspiracy at work? Out there somewhere, is there a 1200lb man with a cell phone the size of a splinter, implanted in his enormous girth, gurgling amidst the remnants of his latest Whopper?
Cell phones are crazy these days. They can fit in the palm of your hand. They can be skinny enough to give food-deprived supermodels an anxiety attack. They can not only allow you to talk to someone in another hemisphere, but you can play your favorite songs and calculate your taxes while riding the bus, or make a video of your dog eating your wife's panty hose to delight all your friends. One day you're going to need a homing device and tracker to even find your phone as it will be the size of a garden pea, will fit inside your ear and thus ensure the E.R. is constantly full of inattentive people who have seen their device slip down their ear canal into the ringing chasm of their brain.
I saw an episode of "The X-Files" the other night and thought David Duchovny was lugging around a full sized armoire, but it turned out to be a mid-nineties cell phone with an antenna that could tickle a giraffe's chin. No wonder he never actually got to see any aliens, he couldn't see around that huge monstrosity. And I don't mean Gillian Anderson either. Shame on you for thinking it. If you showed Mulder a "Razr" phone he'd probably have declared it alien software and spontaneously combusted on the spot.
Plus what is with the new iPods? (And what does it say about me that five years after acquiring my iPod, the word "iPod" still makes me think of "IHop"?) My iPod, when I bought it, was the sleekest, sickest, most fabulous, sexy little piece of genius you ever saw. How could this tiny little thing be so sleek and little and streamlined, yet store so much music? Nowadays it looks like an enormous World War II tank compared to the little slivers of machines they make, that can not only play tunes but show video and probably tell you the number of times your heart beat increased during the season finale of "24". The new iPod Shuffle isn't much bigger than a postage stamp. I once couldn't find my rental car, there's no way I'm going to be safe around a tiny, musical gadget.
I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this.
