7 Random Things About The Guv'ner You Have No Desire To Know
That mischievous beeyotch, TERI has tagged me to do this meme thingy, and since this blog lately seems to be all about the meme, here it is! Try not to faint with the joy.
Seven Random (or Weird) Things About Me. (only seven??)
- I don't burp. Really. It's not an etiquette thing or some noble reason like that, it's just that I can't. I try really hard. I want to be able to burp words like my sister Ahnnie. She can say things like "BOLLOCKS!" while burping and this is a talent I long for. She got all the talent in cool stuff and I got none. (She can also do that wolf whistle thing with two fingers that can hail cabs two miles away. I can't do that either.) I only burp maybe once a year if I get taken by surprise by a super gassy soda or something and even then it's a weak yelp that no one can hear and I'm more surprised than anyone. So surprised in fact I have to advertise it to anyone in the vicinity. "Did you hear that? That was me! I let rip with a mouth-fart!" I do make up for the lack of burping prowess by emitting gasses from my rear at regular intervals and blaming the cat.
- I have fantasies about moving into one of those perfect showrooms at IKEA full of furniture called Krav and Hub and Stankar.
- I secretly like mariachi music. The simplicity. Harmonies and Spanish guitar. Perfectly melodious. Big-assed sombreros and sequins! Ahem...yes.
- Sometimes, at home, I talk to myself in French.
- I wish all my neighbours would move out and disappear and that the new people moving in would all be older, quiet, childfree, enjoy solitude and have no urge to party or play loud music, but not be too old that they'd fall asleep soaked in gin and set the house on fire with a stray candle.
- When I was three I fell over, hit my face off a shop window and split my lip open, requiring stitches. I can still remember every moment of this incident including the sewing of the lip and having to eat custard and soup for a week. I know, how interesting.
- I once recorded an E.P. of "comedy" songs about British celebrities I hated and sold it at my band's shows. I recorded it on a four track in my bedroom and produced a fanzine to accompany it. I had a lot of free time on my hands in those days. No I don't still have a copy.
Well that was sort of anti climatic, no? Oh well. January is sort of a blah month, what do you expect? Happy New Year!
